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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473258">Black Heart Scarring Darker Still</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaCelt/pseuds/AvaCelt'>AvaCelt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gothic Horror Prompt Fills - 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Berserk Influences, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Doppelganger Mythology, Gothic, Horror, Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe, Inspired by William Wilson, M/M, Spoilers up to chapter 262, William as Griffith parallels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:22:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaCelt/pseuds/AvaCelt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>William knows he's a coward, but even cowards can love, and if Zenon wants to hurt the other half of his heart, then William has no problem becoming the Devil himself. [William/Patolli, canon divergence, spoilers up to chapter 262]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patri/William Vangeance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gothic Horror Prompt Fills - 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Black Heart Scarring Darker Still</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from the Metallica's <i> The Unforgiven II </i>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When William was sixteen years old, he fell in love.</p><p>An existence spent in the shadows hadn't done well for his self-esteem, but it <em>had </em>allowed him ample time to self-reflect. He realized early in life that as an individual, he had nothing to live for. If he jumped into the river near the Vangeance estate, then it would be a painful closing to a rather painful existence, but <em>only </em>if he saw his life as one that belonged to him, and only him. Fortunately, for William, he also realized that the body he inhabited wasn't <em>just </em>his, and so in conclusion, his life couldn't be just his own if there was something else depending on him to keep the body safe and healthy. Something slept in William's chest, and William loved that thing, whatever it was, because it gave William a <em>purpose, </em>a reason never to jump into the river.</p><p>When Patolli awoke and received his grimoire, William cried.</p><p>His life finally had meaning, and it was all because of a creature that harbored uncontrollable rage. William, despite the life-long depression and reservedness, never thought <em>anything </em>could hate that much, but then there was Patolli. Patolli hated. Patolli hated, and William cried, because while Patolli's rage burned everything in its path, William's love blossomed in his poison. When William was sixteen years old, he hadn't just met the ghost that'd been hibernating in his chest – he'd met his soulmate.</p><p>
  <em>Doppelganger.</em>
</p><p>He'd read the stories of course, all the children had. The fairies that could snatch you up in a moment's notice were the same fairies who could grant you your greatest wish. William never had any dreams. He had nothing to live for. Why would he? He was the cursed son of a whore noble who put a baby in his mother, his mother who had no use for him after she saw his face. William was nothing, but Patolli? Patolli was everything.</p><p>
  <em>Doppelganger.</em>
</p><p>He knew what a doppelganger was, <em>of course he did</em>, but he never saw Patolli as such, no matter <em>what </em>the books and the children and the old maids said, because they didn't <em>know </em>the ghost living in his chest, the ghost who was his best friend, his <em>other half</em>, the only who loved him and understood his pain, the one who'd unknowingly kept him alive all these years. William didn't <em>care </em>if Patolli was his proverbial doppelganger, because it didn't <em>matter</em>.</p><p>“That's the one who became friends with his doppelganger, isn't it?” William hears a woman say, as he finally comes to his senses, finally understands why the word 'doppelganger' is repeating itself in his head.</p><p>“They call <em>us</em> dirty for contracting demons, but here they are, cavorting with elven ghosts,” a man drawls in response.</p><p>“Aren't you two supposed to be in bed right now?” Another man speaks, and this time, the voice belongs to someone William recognizes.</p><p>“I got hungry,” the woman retorts before devolving into a bout of screeching laughter. “Aaaand a little bored. Wanted to see who the World Tree magic user was... didn't expect <em>this</em> loser.”</p><p>“You can <em>smell </em>the desperation on him. Imagine loving one person your whole life, and a fucking <em>ghost </em>at that. Who does that?”</p><p>“You two, get back to the recovery room <em>now</em>,” pleads that familiar voice.</p><p>“You're the baby of the family, Zenon, <em>you </em>go to bed.”</p><p>“I'm not the one who broke seven ribs,” Zenon deadpans.</p><p>“First of all-” But before the woman can finish, William hears a yelp, some scuffling, the scuttling of critter legs, and finally a set of whines and grumbles that lead to retreating footsteps.</p><p>“Awake now, are we?” Zenon says.</p><p>William finally opens his eyes, and takes in the lone man in front of him. His vision is blurry, but not so bad that he can't make out the bars of the cage he's locked in, and the tall, peering figure right outside of it. “It seems so,” he rasps, throat as dry as sandpaper.</p><p>The man called Zenon stares in silence for some time. William wonders what has him so enamored.</p><p>“You're a bad omen,” the man concludes.</p><p>William can't help but crack a smile. “<em>I'm </em>the bad omen?”</p><p>The man called Zenon nods. “No one is supposed to love their doppelganger,” he says, as if it were a matter of fact and not just a grim fairy tale used to frighten children. “Doppelgangers are a curse. If you meet your doppelganger, you're supposed to run away as far you can, so that they can never catch up to you and steal your body... But you – you <em>willingly </em>lay with a ghost.” The man called Zenon looks at William as if he were a specimen on display. “You're supposed to kill your doppelganger. It's how you assert dominance, and keep your body.”</p><p>“Is that so?” William comments with little emotion. The remnants of his smile are gone. Instead, there's a blankness in his expression he doesn't think he's outwardly displayed since he was a child. It's the look of a dead child – a dead man.</p><p>Zenon nods again. “You can't become friends with a doppelganger. It's misleading,” Zenon lectures. “When you're fighting for one body, you're warring; it's a war. The winner takes it all.”</p><p>William twitches. It's a habit he's had since he was a child, but it's one he's had control over for just as long. He's never screeched or thrown himself against the floor to push the pain away. Its always been hidden in the depths of his chest, next to Patolli's sleeping form, a mass of despair and loathing that William kept... <em>keeps </em>at bay by reminding himself that he has something to live for now. There's more than Patolli now. There's the Golden Dawn, there's Wizard King Julius, and there are the friends he's made along the way – there are more reasons to live now.</p><p>“If you'd killed him, imagine how powerful you'd be now,” Zenon says with a dejected sigh. “Perhaps your comrades wouldn't have died if you had. It's your fault, you know. Those who can't kill their own demons have no right to protect others.”</p><p>“Noted,” William responds hollowly, unable to call out the other man's hypocrisy.</p><p>“It's good that you're marked for death,” Zenon surmises. “It's what you deserve. You're too weak for this world.”</p><p>Zenon turns away after that, and William thinks that finally, <em>finally </em>he can think now that the cruel man has left, and maybe find a way to escape so that he can go home to whomever is left. William knows he's a coward, knows that Clover will never take him back, but he has to try, doesn't he? After Patolli left his body, a piece of William left with him. William still doesn't know what that piece is, but perhaps surviving this ordeal will help him realize what it is.</p><p>“Perhaps I should find him before the world is remade,” Zenon says, his back to William. William raises his head and stares at the man who's sprouted horns and appendages made of bones. He's so far away, William <em>shouldn't</em> be able to hear him, but he does, clear as a bell. “Megicula says we only need you and the Dark Magic user, but he doesn't have a doppelganger running around. I don't want the ritual to fail because you're weak. I will find him, that ghost. Yes... Yes, I believe I will.”</p><p>The mass of despair and utter loathing melts away to reveal what's underneath. Because it's not despair and loathing, is it? He has his father's lavender eyes. They compliment the ghastly birthmark, patches of dark red and bleeding purple. He has his father's eyes.</p><p>He has his father's contempt.</p><p>“STAY AWAY FROM HIM!”</p><p>There's drool hanging from his lips, and the deep cut on his face is open again, pouring fresh blood down his face. He barely registers the pain. All he sees is rage mixed with disdain, the contempt he knows his father has passed on to him, the ire he's kept so tightly locked up in his chest that Patolli even ignores it, because Patolli didn't know him when he was twelve and realized he wanted to stick his head in the river because he loathed, he <em>hated </em>that he was so miserable, disgusted that Clover's gods had forsaken and left him so <em>utterly </em>alone.</p><p>William is a coward. He deserves to be punished. He deserves to die. He knows it and he accepts it, but his lavender eyes glisten with scorn, burn with so much derision that he wants to break free from the cage and rip Zenon's heart out.</p><p>“Don't touch him,” William whispers with deadly softness. “If you touch him, I'll-”</p><p>“You'll what?” And suddenly the man called Zenon is pressed against the bars of the cage, a manic smile on his lips, black pits set into sickly yellow sclera. “What will you do, World Tree Magic caster?”</p><p>When William was sixteen years old, he fell in love with the ghost in his head. Who else cared about him? The king who recruited him for his army? The father who only took him in because his original heir had died? The stepmother who'd beaten him so badly growing up that he hadn't been able to walk for days on end? Who did William have? Who cared about William? Who put him to sleep so that he'd never have to deal with the pain of living ever again?</p><p>William doesn't know how he manages to crawl to the bars of the cage, but once he finds his bruised hands grasping the bars, he presses his face against the metal so his and Zenon's lips are mere centimeters apart.</p><p>“I'll chop you up into tiny little pieces, and eat you.” It's not a threat; it's a promise. He's seen it before – seen his father murder his enemies, and cannibalize them in front of their families to teach them the ultimate lesson, to teach them that a Vangeance was as soulless as its namesake. It's why he had to be sent away when he was first born. No son of a cruel noble had any right to exist unless the noble deemed him worthy enough to exist. William only became worthy when his older brother died, but even then, only good enough for the press and those nosy enough to poke around, not worthy enough to actually <em>lead </em>the family.</p><p>Perhaps his father will accept him once he rips Zenon's nose off with his teeth. Perhaps <em>then</em> he will become a true Vangeance.</p><p>Or perhaps he will simply eat Zenon alive while he's screaming for mercy, and then find Patolli and cry in his arms, because Patolli understands, Patolli <em>knows</em>. He knows the evil lurking in William's heart, even if William has tried to hide it, even if William pretends Patolli doesn't know about the darkness lurking in the corners. William keeps the evil at bay by pretending to be useless, the same evil that made him turn a blind eye to countless civilians and Magic Knights being murdered in cold blood by ghosts of species wiped out during a genocide, because William is, fundamentally, evil.</p><p>Evil and filled with contempt – perhaps <em>he </em>is the doppelganger, and not Patolli.</p><p>“You're in love with him,” Zenon choked with awe. “You...”</p><p>William watches as tears stream down the man's left cheek. Zenon's left eye transformed into a plain brown eye set into an average white sclera during their conversation, and now it overflows with sadness, as if it understands William.</p><p>As if it knows.</p><p>“You would make <em>such </em>a good demon host, William Vangeance,” Zenon murmurs, his lone eye still crying. “If only you weren't a key – you could have become a <em>god.”</em></p><p>But William has no intention of becoming a god. He intends to survive, to leave this dungeon, to kill this man, and then find his Patolli. He wants to take his Patolli's hand and return to Clover Kingdom, beg Wizard King Julius for forgiveness for having failed the Golden Dawn, and then fight for them with all of his cruelty laid bare for all of Spade to witness. William wants to <em>live</em>.</p><p>“Don't touch him,” William repeats, because his father's evil and contempt have merged with his depression and pain, and the thought of losing his other half, his soulmate, is so agonizing that he wants to try his luck at grasping Zenon's throat right <em>now</em>, and tear him to shreds from inside the cage.</p><p>But Zenon flickers away, his horns and wings gone, his back to William once more as he finally walks away for good. William blinks once, two more times before falling to his side, the adrenaline rushing from his body like a deflating balloon. Slumped on his side, William watches the retreating figure as sleep claims his senses and the evil recedes to the deepest corners of his heart, the heart that belongs to a ghost.</p><p>William was sixteen years old when he fell in love. He was sixteen when he laid his head against a mirror and promised his body to a ghost.</p><p>He was sixteen when he realized that his birthmark was never the curse. At the end of the day, it's as superficial as his stepmother's smile in a room full of aristocrats.</p><p>No, William's real curse is something different. It's not the rage that Patolli holds, or the jealousy he's witnessed in other men who are second or third siblings to privileged heirs. It's something worse. It's something William knows will push him over the edge and have him commit evil in the name of love. It's because <em>he's </em>the doppelganger, and not Patolli. It's because he's a bad man born under a bad sign, and deserves no less than a coward's death.</p><p>William Vangeance was sixteen years old when he fell in love – just sixteen years old when he met the ghost living in his heart, and gave it his everything.</p>
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